Sunday, March 6, 2011
insomnia
I haven't gotten 8 hours of sleep in forever, i can't sleep in past really early, and i can't fall asleep when i try. this insomnia sucks!
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Luck
I am really lucky that after everything a lot of people didn't judge me, and are still there for me. It always surprises me how accepted I feel recently, more accepted than before life took a turn on me. I am lucky to know the people that I do!
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Feeling Contemplative
I've spent the last couple of weeks thinking, dreaming, and contemplating my life, other people's lives, and just living in general. Sometimes my life feels like a movie, sometimes it feels like a soap opera, sometimes it feels like a comedy, a spiritual journey, and sometimes I feel like an outside observer. I haven't been alive that long, but there's so much that's happened to me, there's a ton to help me learn and grow.
Throughout my life I have been lucky to have an incredibly amazing family. Growing up I never appreciated them, I was always me, doing what I'm going to do, to the wind with advice. I'm still a lot the same, but I do understand the value of advice, and a good family, even if I don't take it.
I've been blessed so recently to be around some really incredible people. It's still January, and so I guess I feel contemplative on the last year. I'm in such a completely different place than I was a year ago. I never again want to be where I was in January 2010, even though that was a better place than any moment before December 22, 2009. I don't know what happened in 2010, except that things really changed. I found a new caliber of friends. Not all of them knew what was going on with me, but they really showed me so much love. 2010 taught me so much about the value of those around you. I got to observe and become a part of a world where people don't judge others, they're just a friend to them. The people I became closer to in 2010 showed me what I personally feel I should aspire to become. I got to observe the most beautiful personal interactions between people, in which no one was excluded and not a single person was judged. The only time someone was abrasive or anything is if you said something negative about someone, anyone. I admire that so much, and I know without a doubt that's what I want to be like. 2011 seems to be refining those newly made friendships, and making new ones, with new people who are just as wonderful.
And then there's my family, oh my goodness there is my family! I have just started learning to appreciate my sisters, they are amazing, ten times as amazing as I ever thought anyone could be. When did they become such kind-hearted, patient, sensitive, and incredible young women? Why did I wait until recently to allow them in, to spend more time with them and allow them to not just be my sisters, but my best friends? I am SO lucky to have everything I seem to have right now.
Throughout my life I have been lucky to have an incredibly amazing family. Growing up I never appreciated them, I was always me, doing what I'm going to do, to the wind with advice. I'm still a lot the same, but I do understand the value of advice, and a good family, even if I don't take it.
I've been blessed so recently to be around some really incredible people. It's still January, and so I guess I feel contemplative on the last year. I'm in such a completely different place than I was a year ago. I never again want to be where I was in January 2010, even though that was a better place than any moment before December 22, 2009. I don't know what happened in 2010, except that things really changed. I found a new caliber of friends. Not all of them knew what was going on with me, but they really showed me so much love. 2010 taught me so much about the value of those around you. I got to observe and become a part of a world where people don't judge others, they're just a friend to them. The people I became closer to in 2010 showed me what I personally feel I should aspire to become. I got to observe the most beautiful personal interactions between people, in which no one was excluded and not a single person was judged. The only time someone was abrasive or anything is if you said something negative about someone, anyone. I admire that so much, and I know without a doubt that's what I want to be like. 2011 seems to be refining those newly made friendships, and making new ones, with new people who are just as wonderful.
And then there's my family, oh my goodness there is my family! I have just started learning to appreciate my sisters, they are amazing, ten times as amazing as I ever thought anyone could be. When did they become such kind-hearted, patient, sensitive, and incredible young women? Why did I wait until recently to allow them in, to spend more time with them and allow them to not just be my sisters, but my best friends? I am SO lucky to have everything I seem to have right now.
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