My Angel Baby

I wanted to write for my angel baby, but I don't want her due date to be a sad day. I decided to write this earlier so I can get the deep feelings out before her due date so I can truly celebrate her. This is the declaration of my love for her and undying attachment to her. Maybe it won't work and I will still struggle. I believe her memory shouldn't be drenched in sadness. No person, no matter how short their time on the earth, should be remembered exclusively in sadness. I am okay with being sad on the anniversary of her loss, but I want to celebrate that tiny little life on her due date. Every October third will be a lovely, special family day. It will be her "We love you" day party.

I knew October third would come hard and fast. I lost my sweet angel baby in February. She doesn't have an official name (and she won't until Joey and I see her), but I call her Bailey. Due date week is different than I thought it would be. There's a lot more longing than I thought. I have some things for her little sister and, while it's fun to through baby clothes, I get a little twinge - would Bailey have worn this? Would she be wearing this now? Would we have already had her? Would she be with us now?

I want my angel baby. I want her so badly. I wish I could hold her in my arms and hug her and tell her I love her the way I do with James. I wish I knew what color her eyes would be, and if she had curly hair like James and I do.  I feel guilty about this because we are pregnant with her litte sister. I am hyper aware that if we had not lost Bailey, we would not have little sister. I want little sister, too, I want to have them both. It feels really complicated to have your rainbow baby dancing around your tummy on the due date of your angel baby. It's a mix of positive and negative.

The "Should have"'s "Could have"'s plague me. I'm supposed to be getting ready to welcome my second child into the world. If things were different I could have been in labor in the hospital right now. I'm not because my second child died months ago. I have my first and third children, but my second is gone. If whatever killed her never happened would I be holding her right now? Would I be complaining about sleepless nights and making sure James is gentle with his baby sister?

Bailey and her little sister would have been  three months apart. I know this is physiologically impossible, but my girls are 3 months apart. They will know each other one day, or maybe they knew each other before they each entered my belly. I hope they were best friends in the pre existence and that they'll be close when they meet again. My heart tugs all around because I want them both. I feel thankful for little sister, but I still want Bailey. I know I wouldn't have little sister if I had Bailey and I can't have Bailey when I have little sister. That's biology and biology is not fair. They're my children and I want to hold them in my arms. I am their mother. A mother is allowed to want these things even if she's not allowed to have them.

I yearn to know what it would be like to bring a healthy Bailey into the world. I know I will see her again, and while that can be comforting it doesn't change how things work in this life. Jesus knew Lazarus would rise from the dead and he still wept with Mary and Martha. Just like he knew they had lost him for that time, he knows I have lost Bailey for this time and he will allow me to mourn and miss and love her until he reunites us, which I know he will.

I hope little sister was there when Bailey returned to heaven. I hope they stayed together with any possible brothers/sisters they may have that I don't know about, yet. I hope little sister got a beautiful send-off from Bailey to us. I hope they love each other, I hope that they were able to hold each other as our family grappled with Bailey's loss here on earth. I hope Bailey sent her sister trailing clouds of glory to come be where she couldn't.

Does Bailey know I love her? Does she know that her little sister coming so close to what should have been her birthday doesn't make me love either of them less? Does she know how unconditionally wanted and loved she is?

Some days I feel like she's becoming distant. I don't want Bailey to become distant, I want her to be a part of our life and family forever. I don't mean just after this life but even during it. I want her here continuously.

I hope my darling child gets to commune with our Savior as we wait to be reunited. I hope she gets to live in all of His glory right now. I know He is holding her for me.

I miss you Bailey.

Working from home is awesome!

Apparently I’m some sort of work from home job search guru. I should probably start a blog about it, but I’m not really interested in spending all that time going over things the second time and giving people credit to avoid plagiarism, etc., so this is for the ward!

Some things you should know:

·         * Don’t work from home if you have bad internet. Seriously, it’s not going to work unless you’re a freelance writer. Figure the internet out.

·         * I will not direct you to a job that pays less than $10/hr. I refuse. We’re better than that, you don’t have to settle for such low pay, even as a college student, stop telling yourself you have to be poor (which is what began my work from home journey a couple of years ago).

·         * Most work from home positions only pay once a month, so if you need an immediate income, sell some stuff, or go here: http://realwaystoearnmoneyonline.com/2011/11/work-at-home-jobs-that-pay-weekly.html but I will warn you, I think these ones are saturated, I look really good on paper and no one got back to me (or the ones that did pay crap). If you want more than one paycheck, do two that get paid on different days, but don’t do everything that accepts you, you could get burnt out.

·         * I like working from home because I really like my freedom and flexibility, if you’re going to strangle yourself when your “leash” gets some slack these are not for you. Most of these jobs require you to be in charge of your own schedule. If you can’t handle only being accountable to yourself, working from home will make you crash and burn.

·         * I’ve written on the jobs that have accepted me, or that I’ve done. I put my work from home job sites (filtered, all legitimate opportunities as far as I know) at the bottom, so you can find what works best for you.

·       *  The link to my “saving money” pinterest board is at the bottom, check that out if you want to see more opportunities or if you’re okay making less than $10/hr.

We’ll start with the BEST (the one I do now), the hours are 4 AM- 8 AM in Idaho Monday-Sunday, you can also work Friday and Saturday from 7-9 (these are considered peak times, based on the time in China).

First of all, we get credit through the company for referrals. So that is why I am spreading the word! If you decide to apply, I would appreciate it if you would put me as your contact so that I can get the credit. ☺

The company is called VIPKID. They are based out of Beijing, China.

You would be teaching ESL (English as a second language) to students between the ages of 5-14. Because of this, they really are looking for people who have a good background working with children. We teach immersion English, which means that you will only speak English to the children.

The curriculum is already written for you. You will simply need to do some advance preparation before you teach, but you don’t need to write your own lesson plans. They do require you have basic teaching materials such as a whiteboard, puppets, flash cards, etc. to teach your students. You buy these yourself, but you will be reimbursed the money in your first paycheck.

The way you get classes: each week you will have a blank schedule online that you fill in. The schedule has all hours of the day, but they consider 6-10pm Beijing time the “peak hours.” 6-10pm in Beijing is 4-8am in Idaho (5-9 in Minnesota). You are required to be available 7.5 hours a week during their “peak times.” You can make yourself more available if you’d like, but that is the minimum. Once you put your availability, parents can sign their students up for your class. The classes are 30 minutes long, which means you will be required to put a minimum of 15 class slots available each week.

They pay you by the class. You will get paid anywhere between $7-9 a class ($14-18/hr), depending on how well you do during the interview process. The money also comes from China, and it is direct deposited into your bank account. Because the company is in China, you are responsible for your own taxes. From what I understand, people file themselves as an independent contractor.

I have worked for the company for 1 week and I absolutely love it! I did about . 17 hours last week and am scheduled for 22 this week. Although the hours are early, it works out very nicely for me, because I do Mary Kay, too, and it doesn't conflict.

Again the qualifications are
1. Bachelors degree
2. Relevant teaching experience
3. North American accent.

The other cool thing is there has been NO shortage of parents signing up for my classes, and while I’d like to think it’s because I’m a good teacher (1,5 weeks in), in my interview a couple weeks ago they said 2,000 new kids were enrolling in the program, there is a HIGH demand for teachers!

I worked from home as an e-center and sales representative for U-Haul. Basically, during the busy season, if a U-haul center doesn’t answer the phone, it goes to you so customers can be responded to. You address whatever issue they have, but usually the customers want to reserve a storage unit, truck, trailer, or hitch installation. The pay is $8.25/hr + 2.50/reservation, I averaged about 4-6 reservations per hour, but I was usually in the top 5 on my team (you are on teams). IDK if they’re still hiring, because they’re kind of in the middle of the busy season. You need WIRED-IN INTERNET, a connection speed with <75 ping, at download speed of at least 5 mpbs, and an upload speed of at least 5 mpbs. Go to the u haul website and look up work from home under careers. This is a seasonal position, so if you’re looking long term this probably isn’t the place for you. You are required to be available at least 30 hours during this season, which includes one weekend day. It might be too late to apply, but why not give it a shot? I will say I found it a little tedious and boring, but it was worth the paycheck.

If you’re looking for part time or super part time Leapforce at Home is a great place to work. You are limited to an hour a day, but the pay is around $13.50/hr. If you are accepted (which is very likely, they always need more evaluators), you will need to take their qualification exam, that is VERY time-consuming and difficult, I recommend reading the materials beforehand, I did not pass the exam the first time, you get one more shot at it, I passed the second time. You do not get paid for this, you only get paid to rate pages. If you have time to do practice rating you can go up to two hours a day, but you won’t get paid for this, either.

Here is the link to apply: https://www.leapforceathome.com/qrp/public/jobs/list;jsessionid=6C360569DDF33A3D3CA6A44207BEF7D3

If you have a lot of friends on social media (facebook, twitter, Instagram, etc.), Appen Global is looking for social media evaluators, these are temporary positions lasting from eight weeks to a month, but the pay is around 13.75/hr, and you are required to work 4 hours a day, including one weekend day. The idea is to improve newsfeed on social media, so this is basically like beign paid to be in a focus group. https://erec.appen.com/sap/bc/webdynpro/sap/hrrcf_a_posting_apply?param=cG9zdF9pbnN0X2d1aWQ9MDA1MDU2ODA3Qjk5MUVFNUE4ODkzM0VBMzMzMEYxNTcmY2FuZF90eXBlPUVYVA%3d%3d&sap-client=300&params=cG9zdF9pbnN0X2d1aWQ9MDA1MDU2ODA3Qjk5MUVFNUE4ODkzM0VBMzMzMEYxNTc%3d#

You can find more jobs at my go-to work from home sites at

http://www.ratracerebellion.com

http://www.dreamhomebasedwork.com/work-at-home-jobs-with-great-pay/#comment-1967677056

http://realwaystoearnmoneyonline.com/2015/10/work-at-home-jobs-paying-12-or-more-an-hour.html

And I find them all over pinterest, so if you follow my board:

https://www.pinterest.com/rchlcox1/saving-money/

My Homemade Beef Stew

So my friend, Jenna requested a good beef stew recipe. I am a self-claimed really good cook (I like my cooking, and the family I work for seems to as well, and my husband....and whomever else I usually decide to feed)

So here it is, it is loosely based on a Paula Deen beef stew recipe.

Ingredients (and you can add more veggies or less if you want):

1 Medium yellow onion, cut into wedges

3 Carrots, peeled and chopped

2 stalks of celery, chopped

3 garlic cloves, minced

4 russet potatoes, peeled, chopped, and boiled 8-10 minutes (depending on if you're using your slow cooker)

1 steak, chopped and seared (I just put the pan on medium high with olive oil, and brown each side for 30 seconds, as well as salt and pepper it. I let the slow cooker cook it he rest of the way)

2 Bay leaves

5-7 beef bullion cubes (I would say at least 2 for every cup of water, I like a beefy stew)

2-3 cups of water (I boil the bullion cubes in it)

1/3 C of butter

2-3 TB flour

Worchestershire sauce

Directions:

Chop all of the vegetables (DUH!), and boil the potatoes and cook the meat if you haven't already. Boil the water with the bullion cubes and set aside (make sure bullion cubes dissolve).

In a large pot melt the butter and then add flour to make a rue. You can use more flour to make a thicker stew, the flour should dissolve into a paste in the butter, it's okay to add more if it's not thickening. After it is thickened, add the broth you made with the bullion and water, stir with a wire wisk until combined, boil for at least 1 minute so your broth can thicken. In a separate pan combine the meet and the vegetables, I like to season it before I mix it with the broth because I feel like if I don't my seasoning will end up at the bottom of the pot. Put your pan on low and just let it sizzle for a couple of minutes, adding worchestershire sauce, salt, pepper, and minced garlic for flavor, after about 5 minutes add vegetables to the broth, stir well with a wooden spoon and add the bay leaves. You can transfer it to a crock pot and let simmer for about an hour, or you can boil it for about 20 minutes so the vegetables are tender. This is all dependent on your taste, and time, it's quicker than it sounds, so if you want to have a quick meal ready for later, just put it all in the crock pot, the veggies should be soft and the meat tender. If you want crisper veggies, less time (whoa, common sense is great, right?!). Enjoy, and let me know how it turns out for you.

Shredded Chicken that tastes like Cafe Rio Sweet Pork

My husband and I use this a lot in our cooking. We like to use it when we make a mock Cafe Rio salad, burritos, etc. It's also good in enchiladas, just a great standard. It's got a really strong sweet flavor, so it's not really kid-friendly.
Ingredients:
2 chicken breasts, boiled and shredded
1/4 cup honey
just under 1/4 cup lime juice
1 TB chili powder
1/2 tsp garlic salt
1 Gallon-sized plastic bag

1. Mix honey, lime juice, chili powder, and garlic salt (I usually mix them in my liquid measuring cup).
2. Put shredded chicken in plastic bag.
3. Add marinade to plastic bag with the chicken.
4. Put in fridge and let marinade for at least half an hour (1 day is better).
5. When you're ready to eat it (if you're having it in a salad or burrito...anything you don't bake, don't do this for enchiladas), put it on a greased skillet and heat it up, you can even make it crispy if you want.
6. Decide how you want it and ENJOY!

Yummy Mexican Shepherd's Pie

This is super easy, and my husband and I will usually eat the whole thing because it's so yummy!
Ingredients:
2 Cups mashed potatoes (you can either use instant or homemade, I usually do homemade, using about 4 potatoes)
1/2 lb ground beef
1 can corn
1 Cup salsa
1/2 cup sour cream

Preheat the oven to 400 degrees
1. Brown the ground beef. Season with salt and pepper, then drain.
2. Mix the salsa, sour cream, corn, and ground beef.
3. Pour the mixture into an 8X8 glass pan (if you want more, double it and you can put it in a 9X13 pan).
4. Pour mashed potatoes on top.
5. Bake for 20 minutes.
6. Let cool and enjoy!

Yummy Creole Chicken and Rice

2-4 chicken breasts (depending on the size and how many people you're feeding)
1 Can Cream of Chicken soup
1 Cup sour cream
Creole seasoning (I do it to taste, it's spicy, so it could be a lot or not a ton)
2 Cups homemade rice, buttered

You can do this in layers, or as a casserole, it depends on how you like it. You can adjust the recipe for more people who are eating it.

As a casserole:
1. Preheat oven to 375 Degrees F
2. Pre-make all ingredients
3. Mix the chicken into the sauce
4. Layer the bottom of an 8X13 pan with rice
5. Pour sauce on top
6. Bake for about 20 minutes, or until bubbling.

Layered:
1. Pre-make all ingredients
2. Put rice on the bottom of plate
3. Put sauce over the rice and enjoy.

Chicken:
1. Boil chicken breasts (or bake, or however you like to cook it, it's all subjective) until cooked through.
2. Either chop or shred chicken (if you have a KitchenAid mixer, you can shred it in the mixer using your paddle function). Sprinkle creole seasoning on it so it's sprinkled red. You might want to taste it, you can use the seasoning as salt, but it's a little spicy (knock on wood, it's Creole!).

Sauce:
1. Mix cream of chicken soup and sour cream in a saucepan, DO NOT BOIL, heat thoroughly and season with creole to taste.
2. Add chicken to sauce

Rice:
1. Also season with creole to taste (pattern, yes:?)

History Major

I've just been thinking about life, graduating college created a lot of changes for me, and I feel so much older than I did when I graduated. It's only been a year and a half, but life has taught me so many lessons. I suppose I didn't have to learn those lessons until after college, but I'm such a hard-headed person, I'm the kind of girl who learns from experience.

At first I felt like my education meant a lot less than it should. I never landed that wonderful college graduate job, I still don't have a dream career. I wasn't married when I graduated from college, I graduated in a major that really can't launch someone into a career.

Life is not easy, you have to make ends meet. When you graduate from college you have bills to pay, and you can't rely on student loans any more to pay them. I was lucky enough to have a job when I graduated, it was not my career, and it was nowhere near a dream job. It did not require an education, but it did have a lot of challenges and problem-solving. Most importantly: it paid the bills. It was a really, really good job, and I was so lucky to have it, but it did nothing for me (meaning I did not find it interesting). I felt so dissatisfied with my life, because I felt entitled to a career that would do something for me, but no one was hiring. What did I expect? I majored in history, what kind of careers come from that? I had reaped what I had sown, or so I thought.

Since graduating I have come to realize something very important: you do reap what you sow. I majored in history, so I had few career options in history...unless I made one for myself. Sometimes there aren't jobs, but you still have to eat, you still need a place to live, and so, you have to find another way to make things happen.

That's what I'm writing about, making things happen. That's one of the wonderful things I have learned from my incredible husband...you don't just sit around and dream. Big things don't come to us through simply wishing we could have big things, you have to take them. The better it is, the harder it will be to get, but boy will it be worth it.

Up until recently I felt like my degree was a multi-thousand dollar piece of paper, a waste of four years. Then we started to dream a little bigger. My husband and I learned that we want things, we are passionate people. We want to collect art, we want to see the world, but how do we do that? I majored in history and my sweetheart is not finished with school, how will we fulfill our dreams? Well, crappy jobs and that multi-thousand dollar piece of paper are coming out, and we will use them to get what we need. Sometimes you have to take the job from the person that will hire you, because you are a responsible person, and debts must be paid. That expensive little slip of paper has actually become quite handy since then, not because I have it, but because of what I did to get it. Those are the skills that mean I will not be stuck in that job from the one person willing to hire me, they are my escape into a life where I can live on my terms.

I majored in History, what a useless degree unless you're going to teach or go to grad school, right? Maybe, but maybe not. How did I get it? I went to the library. I lived at the library! I looked at book after book, academic journals, newspapers, even microfilms of old, old records. I am not a historian, like I had planned, but boy, I am a GREAT researcher. I know where to look, because while I was earning that slip of paper that was supposed to earn me respect and money, I acquired the skills it takes to succeed. My good grades did me no good in finding a respectable career , but the effort it took to get those grades have created a teacher, a writer, and a finder. Those are important skills in every field.

I feel like I'm being fairly unclear, but my main point is that my life is nothing like I pictured it would be while I was in college. I was really disappointed by that at first, but now I feel like I'm finally on the path toward achieving goals and dreams I never knew that I had. That education I resented for a year (it's rough feeling like your career will never move forward!), has stuck, and I have the skill, and more importantly, the time management skills to achieve whatever I want to.

I suppose what I'm saying would be more convincing if I was already there, but I just wanted to write it all down while it's on my mind. I'm grateful for my degree, I'm grateful for the things I learned to get it. I'm glad I did it because it was fun, but I'm also glad I did it because my "useless" degree taught me how to be a responsible and forward-thinking adult. After graduation I wasn't handed a future like other majors, I have to make something of myself, and I'm thankful to have the opportunity to do it.